This is probably one of the most common things I have heard from Christian men when it comes to porn addiction. If you have a seemingly uncontrollable addiction to porn it probably started at a very young age in life. It is also, most likely, something you have been watching for a long time, probably years or even decades.
The longer you watch porn the more it warps your thinking, this is not just something I can claim from experience, there are scientific studies that back this up.
Our ministry helps Christian men overcome pornography and same-sex attraction, which means my assumption is that you identify yourself as a follower of Jesus Christ. At some point or maybe many points, you have probably questioned your salvation. For years, I wondered how I could be saved and keep going back to porn.
This is not the time for a theological debate but it is important for you to understand something: Your porn addiction is a spiritual issue. The answer, and the key to freedom is also a spiritual one.
As you have found this website, and are now reading these words, I can also assume you are serious about getting porn out of your life. This is great news! The deadly effects of porn are limitless and if you stay in your addiction, it will eventually take everything from you. Your family, your friends, your job, your money, your freedom, and even your life.
Because so much is on the line, I recommend to men that they launch an all-out-assault on porn.... taking no prisoners. Treat this as if it's a battle of life or death, because that's exactly what it is. Here are some practical steps you need to take right now, so let's get moving:
Pray. Right now, stop what you are doing and pray to God and let him know what you are planning to do, which is wage war on this sin in your life. Ask him for strength, wisdom, discernment, and guidance. Don't just pray now, but make prayer a regular part of your day, as I stated, this is a spiritual issue and it is ultimately the name of Jesus Christ that is going to give you victory over this area of sin.
Remove Access. You need to get access to porn out of your life, and you may need to take drastic steps, especially at the beginning to build up barriers around you. If you have social media (like twitter, facebook, IG) I highly recommend closing those accounts. A bonus to this is you will probably find you have a lot more time in your day to be productive when you no longer spend time on social media. If you are moaning and groaning at this point, you might as well turn back now. This is easy and if you are not ready to take these steps, you are not serious about real change. Sound harsh? Maybe, but I'd rather be harsh then see you locked up, divorced or dead. Now, close those accounts. Next get software on your computer to block porn. This has to go on all of your devices. There are a few to choose from, and in a question below I talk about them in detail. Which ever one you decide on, it is a necessary step but not 100% foolproof. Software is just another defensive barrier in your battle.
Form a Team. Accountability, honesty and openness are key attributes to freedom from pornography. You need to find at least one but perferrably a couple of accountability partners to walk this path with you. They should be set up to get reports from your software and you should have regular conversations with them about your recovery. The key here is trust and honesty, you have to be able to trust them so you can be fully open and transparent, so choose wisely. Personally I do not advocate using your wife as an accountability partner, but others do. This is a choice you will have to make, but starting out I would recommend a Christian brother.
Change your Habits. When you free up all that time you probably spent on social networks and reduce your time spent online, you will find you have more time to participate in healthy habits and hobbies that will help you in your fight against pornography. Regular exercise is a great way to get a good dopamine release that your body seeks after. You can also start other healthy hobbies that you can do with your wife, as you work towards a better Marriage in your recovery.
Serve Others. When you quit porn, you are not just leaving a bad habit behind, you are building an entirely new life. Think about your old life, and all of the lies you had to build up to conceal your porn. Exhausting wasn't it? Porn has led you to make a long series of bad life decisions, and now it's time to start making good decisions. At the root of it, porn is a pride issue, as we pursue our own selfish desires no matter what the cost to others around us. We have been feeding our pride for so long, that we have become the center of our universe. Quite frankly, we have been worshipping ouselves. One great exercise in humility, is to serve others, and put them ahead of you. This can manifest in many ways, from feeding the homeless to mowing someones lawn for free. As you find spare time in your week, make it a point to serve others where you can, the more you serve the less prideful you will be.
My mentor Larry would say "all addicts will hit bottom at some point, and for some addicts that bottom is death." He is absolutely right. There will come a day when you absolutely have to quit watching porn. My hope is that the day is now for you. It took an FBI raid on my home for me to hit bottom. Don't risk everything you have worked for, including your freedom. Quit right now. Today. This minute.
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